Thoughts on Mother's Day

Today, like every other 2nd Sunday of May is Mother's day.  The day when moms around the United States are pampered, gifted and told how much they are cherished.  Right?

Yesterday as I sat watching Sassy play in a softball tournament,  Smiley came bounding over and exclaimed,  "Mom tomorrow we might make breakfast for you!  Might."

Her excitement for the day and sweet thought regarding breakfast was adorable.  I loved that her little 5 year old brain understood that there was a definite possibility that breakfast would not be made for me and I shouldn't get my hopes up.

She was right.  I woke this morning before everyone, took our dog for a walk, showered, woke up one child after another.   When everyone was dressed and ready, we were out the door for 9am church.  Oh, and breakfast?  For me that consisted of a yogurt (the kids and hubby ate left over cinnamon rolls).

Church was nice, and the kids didn't bug each other which is a gift of itself!  Following church we attempted to go out for brunch and were turned down at two restaurants as they were only taking those who had reservations, something we didn't have.  We threw in the towel and came home.  I was gifted ~ a "cook book" from Smiley that her preschool teachers put together.  Each child told their teacher one of their favorite recipes that their mom makes.  Smiley?  Her addition was Peanut Butter and Jelly.  I must tell you the directions as told by Smiley:

"My Mom puts peanut butter on a bread with a knife.  She gets another bread and puts jelly on top of the other bread.  She puts it on a plate and cuts it in half.  I like water and Cheetos with it."

Yes, I am all things gourmet ~ can't you tell :)

Action wrote me a poem and drew a picture (he would be embarrassed if I posted the lovely sentiments on here).

Sassy made me a card.

All of them gave me flowers (actually I came home from a girls night out on Friday with a bouquet of beautiful flowers awaiting me on the kitchen island) and a fitbit (which I have been interested in and absolutely did NOT expect).

I do not expect gifts.  I do not expect to be pampered.  Is it nice? Yes.  Is it thoughtful? Yes.  I love seeing the gifts the kids make for me and the excitement on their faces as they exclaim "Happy Mother's Day!"

I have many different women in my life and each of them has a different expectation of mother's day.

And just like these many different expectations, there are many different kind of Mothers.  Some good mothers, some not so good.  On the flip side, there are so many who want to be Mothers, would give anything to have a child to hold in their arms, to call their own.  There are Mother's who have lost a child or children.  And, simply, there are other women who are too young, not ready or honestly not interested in having children who are perhaps some of the most loving, exemplary role models for our children.  Why not celebrate all of these women?  Why not pray for all of these women.

While I personally love the sentiment of Mother's Day,  I would like to declare today "Woman Day".  I am going to celebrate the women in my children's lives who teach them to love, to be compassionate, to know happiness, and to know they are good enough just the way they are.  I am celebrating those women who share joy, teach values and have expectations of my children.  I'm talking about myself, as the mother of my own children hoping every day that I am doing enough, teaching enough and loving enough.  I'm talking about their Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers, Aunts and other family members.  I'm talking about the mother of my children's friends, and about the neighbor next door, who keeps an eye on the neighborhood and loves seeing our kids running around.  I'm talking about all the  teachers that spend a lot of time with my children, and so many other children almost every single day.  I am also talking about the celebrity or athlete on TV that my children look up to because they see you on TV, in the theatre, and on the radio.  They watch how you act, what you say and how people react to you.   Regardless of who you are or if you are a Mother,  if you are a woman and you care about my children (whether you know them personally or not) and about  how they act, what they think, and you want to see them become successful, confident, compassionate adults I thank you.  I thank you for your role in their lives and I thank you for taking this role seriously.

I know I am not a perfect Mom.  I know that it takes a village to raise a child.  And I personally want to say Happy Woman's Day to every single woman who helps me raise my children to be the best that they can be!

Happy Mother's day and Happy Woman's day!

The Fault in Our Stars

I just finished reading a book.

A book that pulled me in instantly.

A book the left my eyes red
and my heart raw.
A book about trust.
A book about friendship.
A book about hopes and dreams.
A book about closure.
A book that talked about pain,
physical and emotional pain.
A book about truth.
A book about love.
True love.

What book?

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

(Source - Goodreads)

I loved this book.  I fell in love with most of the characters but especially the two main characters:

Hazel Grace ~ a 16 year old girl who has been diagnosed with stage IV terminal thyroid cancer along with Metastatic tumors in the lungs.  And after being accepted into a drug trial, she is given an extended death sentence.  But how long will that be? Days, months, a year? She, nor anyone else knows.  But she does know she will die and she wants to limit those who will be hurt by her death, so she keeps to herself mostly.  Hazel even says, "I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?"

And, there is:

Augustus Waters ~ a 17 year old boy Hazel meets at a cancer support group.  He is in remission from osteosarcoma, of which he lost a leg.  Augustus is a boy who wants to leave some sort of mark on the world and be remembered for something.  
He states: "If you don't live a life in service of a greater good, you've gotta at least die a death in service of a greater good, you know? And I fear that I won't get either a life or a death that means anything.” 

The two of them begin to hang out together ~ talking on the phone, texting and watching movies.  Soon their friendship evolves into more, and as much as Hazel Grace tries to keep her distance to "minimize casualties" the love they feel for each other wins.  

Augustus tells her,  "I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

What happens to Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters?  I won't say, but I do urge you to read this book.  It is definitely one I will be reading again......

 Oh, and this book is coming out in movie form the beginning of June ~ and while I am a firm believer that the books are ALWAYS better than the movies, here is a clip of the trailer for you to enjoy:



I've decided that I will probably have to wait for it to come out on dvd.  I'm pretty sure I will be having myself an ugly cry during it, and I think I would rather do that in the pleasure of my own home.

Oh, and if you read this book and you find yourself amongst the reviewers who disbelieve that a child dying of cancer could find a way to choose to live as Augustus puts it ~ “I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend.”  I invite you to read this info about an amazing young man, Zach Sobiech (google him ~ there is so much about him out there). He was only 18 when he died from complications of osteosarcoma.  He seemed to have a beautiful outlook on living and dying.  He was a musician and wrote music to help himself and his family cope with his disease. One of his most popular songs is titled  "Clouds"  
A few of the lyrics say:

And we'll go up, up, up
But I'll fly a little higher
We'll go up in the clouds because the view is a little nicer
Up here my dear
It won't be long now, it won't be long now






The thing is, is we all are going to die, I will die ~ Eventually.  Maybe I will be "young" or "old".  Maybe disease will take over my body and stop my heart.  Maybe a car accident or another type of accident will lead to my death.  I truly don't know ~ none of us do.

What I do know, like the characters in this book.  I can choose to live my life every day.  I can smile, I can give and accept love.  Like Augustus tells his friend Isaac following Isaac's surgery to remove his only visual eye (due to cancer) leaving him blind: "You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!”

That is true for all of us ~ good and bad, we live.  And that is exactly the point ~ remember to live in the present ~ everyday.

Want to discuss this book more or see what others think?  Check out the Book Club discussion at A Beautiful Mess

Ordinary Miracles (5)

I apologize, this post should have posted last Monday (like the Mondays before it), but it was not written.  It was a busy weekend, no school on Monday and before I had time to blink (aka type) Friday (today) arrived.  So here I sit, indulging in a beverage, with the Olympics playing in the background while I am remembering the ordinary miracles of the previous week.  

1.  I was asked to help out at Smiley's Valentine Party at school.  It was very fun to watch her interact with all of her preschool friends.  

(us, being goofy, just before going to her party)

2.  February is "I love to read month".  Sassy volunteered to read stories to children who called in to a phone number given out to children in our school district.  She read continually for 2 hours and said she can not wait to do it again next year.  Makes me proud to see her wanting to volunteer and contribute to her community.

3.  Valentines day ~ the kids had the day off of school.  I pulled a quick birthday party together for Action and his friends (planned it the day before).  I took Action, 3 of his friends, Sassy and Smiley to the Lego Movie.  We basically had the theatre to ourselves, except for one older couple (60ish).  Then we came back to our house for pizza and cupcakes ~ not to mention fort making and Nerf gun fights.

4.  My mom came for a visit.  While she was here only a short time, it was great to see her!

5.  Sassy had a big volleyball tournament ~ we spent about 15 hours watching or waiting to watch volleyball (in Sassy's case she was either playing, refereeing, or waiting to play volleyball).  Her team ended up 5 th  out of 64 teams.

Oh, and I must mention, Action had a blast hanging out watching volleyball ~ ☺

So these are a few of the Ordinary Miracles of my life and I ask you to look back at your week and think about the ordinary things, people, places or happenings that took place in your life.  The ordinary that is usually taken for granted, but if you think about it are miracles in and of themselves ~ snuggle time with one of your kids, a minute to yourself to do something you enjoy, a package in the mail..... 

Think about it, how would our perspective change if we chose to see our ordinary days as miracles that we should find wonder in and be thankful for.

(See Previous Ordinary Miracles Here)

Leave a comment and tell me, What Ordinary Miracles have you witnessed lately?

Something to Think About Sunday

In the past, when I was a more regular blogger, on Sundays I use to post something called "Something to Think About Sunday".  Most often these posts consisted of quotes, phrases or songs that got me thinking (examples: shoveling, cleaning, honk, dog).  Today is no different.

Awhile ago, I read a book titled "Kisses from Katie"

I reviewed it on my Good Reads account and here is what I wrote:

It takes an extremely strong woman (in mind and faith) to leave everything she new ~ the wealthy comforts of home ~ to go to another country to serve those less fortunate (which is an extreme understatement). At the age of 19, Katie has more love and compassion than so many of the people I know. Her love of God and the desire to serve and follow him is simply inspiring. I definitely recommend this book.

I read the book back in February and it's words continue to creep into my mind and heart.   

Let me give you an example: A couple of months ago our family had to make some decisions.  These decisions had to do with my husbands job.  His company was bought out a little over a year ago.  Things were changing ~ he had to reapply and reinterview.  He was offered a continued position with the new company, but wasn't so sure he was interested.  You see the new company is much larger than the old.  He was concerned about the new direction, and becoming just another dispensable number.  He was concerned about the lack of customer service and the way the new company treated their customers.  It was becoming something and someone he wasn't.  It was stressful not wanting to be where he was, but not knowing what was going to come.   Regardless of what he ultimately decided to do, we knew we would be ok.  And while we were stressed out and unsure, I knew that we were still so fortunate compared to so many.... compared to too many.

I kept coming back to this book and this quote/story written and witnessed by a 19 year old girl who has uprooted herself to make a difference and help those who are truly in need:

"During our one night hospital stay, doctors diagnosed sweet baby Patricia with pneumonia and severe malnutrition.  Her HIV test came back negative and I praised Jesus for that.  In the hospital, I fed her high-energy formula and then took her home to continue to care for her until she was well.  For the first twenty-four hours, I could hardly stand to look at her.  The hurt and the hunger in her lifeless little eyes were simply unbearable.  Every time I changed her diaper, it was filled with large worms - big, fat earthworm-sized worms.  To add to her misery, she could hardly sleep at night because of the cough that assailed her weak little body."

You see, this problem and stresses because of it that we were facing felt daunting, confusing and frustrating.  But as I reread this passage and many others, I was reminded to find perspective.  My family has food on the table.  We have clean water.  We are healthy.  We have family and friends we can go to in times of need.  I'm not saying that times will not come that we lose hope, hurt, cry, stress, want to quit or give up, break down or become hungry ~ physically or emotionally.  This is part of being human.  But I just hope that we can find the light where there is darkness and to keep it all in perspective.

Reminding Myself

My little girl is miserable.

Runny nose

Coughing ~ you know the cough that is so hard and consistent that you almost puke ~ yep, that one.

Fever ~ at times over 103 degrees.

Last night I put her to bed at 8:15.  15 minutes later she was crying for me,  "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy........"

She needed me.

The list of things I needed to do, were going to have to wait.

The laundry would have to wait.

The menu would not get written

The grocery list would not be made.

It was a long night.

The recliner
The floor
The recliner
then the floor again.

 As tired as I was.

As miserable as my little girl was.

I had to remind myself that this cold, this potential ear infection is really nothing.  There are so many children out there who are sick, really sick.  Some will take a very long time to get better and some may never.  Cancers, diseases, syndromes........

We will go to the doctor once Sassy and Action go to school.
She may or may not be given any medication.

But in the grand scheme of life, this night, this day, maybe this weekend with a terrible, miserable cold are truly nothing.  Sure my body is craving sleep, we have company coming tomorrow, a weekend full of activities ~ choir concert, 3 basketball games, choir at church, Actions 8th birthday, softball.... but our life will not be changed by this cold, lack of sleep, or delay of the "things" I need to get done.  I can not say everyone is that fortunate.  And everything will get done.... eventually.

Really, It's all about perspective.

(Source)

Something to think about Sunday

BEING

Definition: living; being alive

I've been busy.
My mind has been racing.
I've been stressed, and yet  somewhat relaxed (huh?).

When life gets this way, I seem to get frustrated easily.  Which is.....    very frustrating.  And it leads me to unconsciously examine my life path and seems to amplify all of my downfalls.

I feel like I am a good wife, mom, friend and child of God.  I am loving, spiritual, helpful, and so much more, but it doesn't feel like it's enough, like I'm being enough.  I mean, I love my family, but am I showing it enough, in my words and actions?  I love my husband, but the spark that was there so many years ago is more like a candle now, I could be more romantic and spontaneous.  There are so many moments when I feel stretched  too thin, tired and short, moments I should step back, take a deep breath and relax.  And while I'm fun (I think ☺), and I love to laugh it doesn't feel like it's enough.


For some reason I feel like I need to be more:
Loving
Romantic
Patient
Spiritual
Health conscious
Fit
Fun
Relaxed
Spontaneous
Organized
Creative

Is it possible to stop trying to "be more"  and just accept who you are right now?


1 Samuel 16:7b
“For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.’ (NKJV)

28. For the smile on my Daughter’s face as I cheer her on
29. Cuddling with my Hubby in the middle of the afternoon
30. Unexpected flowers

Perspective

Unfortunately as we get older, it seems we get more serious.

We have more to worry about.

More to do.

Business to attend to.

We can find ourselves going through life on auto pilot.

Running from here to there,

Checking off the "to do" list.

Sometimes we need to step back, take a breath and look at the world through the eyes of a child.

May you find joy in the simple things today!

and remember,

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.  

e e cummings

 

Something to thing about Sunday

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,

or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,

or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,

time is short, the music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly,

when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,

with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,

time is short, the music won't last.

Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,

and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,

'cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,

time is short, the music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,

you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

it's like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn't a race, so take it slower,

hear the music before your song is over.

~ David L. Weatherford

 

 

Enjoy your day!

Pet Peeves of the week ~ with a TWIST

Thats right, its time for another venting session.

Ready?

UGH:

1.  Stepping in something wet when you only have socks on.

2.  Stores that close at 6 on Saturday nights.

3.  A packed health club because of all those new year's resolutions.

Ok, but if I change my perspective, check this out:

1.  I am thankful that I have a family and a warm house live in; with healthy children who are able to run around and play outside.  Happy children who come in from outside with runny noses and wet, sloppy, snow boots begging for hot chocolate.

2.  I am so glad that the running store closed at 6 on Saturday night so the employees who work there were able to go home and hopefully spend time with their families.

3.  I enjoy going to the health club and feel so good after a hard workout.  It makes me smile to see so many new faces in the gym.  New people who are motivated and want to become healthier.

Alright, YOUR TURN ~ What's driving you crazy this week?