Savoring

First of all, I want to thank all of you for your prayers and well wishes for Smiley and the rest of us.  She goes back to her doctor on Thursday so he can check her eyes out.  She did fabulously the day of the surgery ~ quite tired, but after what her little body went through I expected that.  By Thursday afternoon, she was coming around to her old, feisty self (you'll probably notice in all of the pictures of Smiley, her eyes look red in the corners ~ side effect of surgery and I assure you they were much worse and have gotten better).

This past weekend, my in-laws came for a visit.  Between Friday night and Sunday evening we saw 1 MLB game, 1 NFL preseason game,  and 2 softball games that Sassy played in.  Not to mention a day of shopping for the girls and golfing for the boys, late birthday celebrating (I made myself this cake ~ so yummy!).  Needless to say, it was a jam packed, fun, memory making weekend.

Sassy and Action were moving in to blow out my candles =)

And now...

My kids don't go back to school until next Tuesday, so we have one more week of summer to savor.  And savoring we will be.  Lazy mornings, friends all afternoon, and nothing scheduled..... just enjoying the moments as they come. And trying to keep Smiley from obsessing about the swimming pool...... no water in her eyes until the end of the week.  Wish me luck, she actually put her swimming suit on over her pajamas the other morning, ready to go swimming!

Embrace the Camera ~ After Surgery

Yesterday Smiley had eye surgery.

We had to be at the hospital an hour early, to check in, go over paper work and to get her acclimated.  While we were taking care of business, she had a fabulous time playing with all the "new" toys.

Daddy held her when the Anesthesiologist gave her the medicine for her "nap".  She drifted off in his arms.  Then, Hubby and I went to the family waiting room and...... waited.  About 40 minutes later, her Doctor walked through the doors and reassured us that everything went perfectly.  We waited another half hour to be told we could finally go and be with her in her recovery room.  Sleepy head did not want to wake up.  Unfortunately, Hubby had to leave to catch a flight for work.  So I sat with her.  Watching her chest rise and fall with each breath.  Listening to her every movement.

She finally woke up.  And when she did, she sat up, looked around the room and said, "Where Daddy go?"  She was bummed that he wasn't there, thrilled she got a popsicle, happy to also get crackers and apple juice and very cranky that she couldn't go back and play with the toys.

Finally, she was discharged we went home.  When we arrived, we snuggled together and dozed off and on, while my sister played games with Sassy and Action.

So today I embrace the Camera with my little girl, just home from having eye surgery.  Both of us a little tired, and me very thankful for all of those who sent us their prayers and well wishes, as well as for God, who answers our prayers, and puts people in our lives to help us, guide us, protect us, teach us and love us.

Now go get out from behind the camera!

What if's.....

I'm not a person who usually worries, but yesterday, worry began to sneak in.

My day started like any other.  Well, maybe not exactly like every other.  Sassy and Action actually slept in a little bit.  But then it was breakfast and off to the health club as usual.  A run, a chat with friends, a little overall body work, some much needed stretching and we were off to the next thing.  A trip to Sam's Club.  But when I got into the car and checked my phone messages there was one there that planted a little seed of worry.

It was a pre-op call from the Children's hospital, regarding Smiley's upcoming eye surgery.  Upcoming as in tomorrow morning at 8am.

I hadn't been worried about this surgery at all.

But I guess I am.  I'm not worried about the decision we have made to have the surgery to straighten her eyes (the technical name of the procedure she is having is bilateral strabismus repair) .  We tried glasses.  They didn't work.  Her vision is equally good in both eyes, so there was no eye patching to be had (Sassy did LOTs of patching.  We've been there and I was willing to go there again). So to straighten her eyes, surgery is the next option.   (You can read Smiley's story here and Sassy's story here)

When I called the Day Surgery Nurse back, she asked me lots of questions, mostly regarding health history and pre-operation physical information.  When she was done asking questions, she went over the items we needed to bring..... my photo ID, her physical report, insurance card, comfort items......

Comfort Items.

That's what got me.  This is big.  She needs her blankie. She may need her baby and her "Minnie". She'll need me and she'll need her Daddy.  She may feel like crud (Sassy puked all the way home ~ 40 minute drive).  Her eyes may hurt and feel like they itch and have sand in them.

That little seed that was planted when I first heard the voice mail from the nurse, well it began to grow and fester ......

What if something bad happens during surgery?
What if there is a slip of the hand by the Doctor?
What if she reacts to the anesthetic?
What if it doesn't work?
What if she gets and infection?
What if.....
What if.....
What if.................?

The thing is, my worry gets me nowhere.  Really, it just creates more anxiety.  And honestly, whatever happens tomorrow, good or bad, is out of my control.  Someone much bigger than me is in control.  And I pray and put my trust in him.

In You In You I find my peace

In You In You I find my strength

In You I live and move and breathe

Let everything I say and do

Be founded by my faith in You

I lift up holy hands and sing

Let the praises ring!

 © 2002 Sony

LET THE PRAISES RING LYRICS - LINCOLN BREWSTER

So I pray, I trust, and I try to let go of my worry.   I may or may not sleep well tonight.  I will try not to  fret as I sit in the waiting room tomorrow morning and I will rush into the recovery room to hold my little girl as soon as she wakes up  from her procedure.  I will hold her hair and bucket if need be.  And snuggle her as much as she wants.  And through it all, I will praise God for so much, and pray for peace and trust in my heart.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

John 14:27  

The story of a girl and her glasses

I have a story to tell, and it's kind of long.  But it's a story I want to tell.  One, I will always remember.
So go grab yourself a little snack and get comfy.
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Ready?

Ok........

Wait, one more thing ~ just a little warning that all of the pics have been scanned in and are not the best of quality ~ but you'll get the picture, I think :)

When She was born, we noticed her eyes right away.  Blue and beautiful.

As she grew older her eye lashes grew longer and her beautiful blue eyes seemed to sparkle.

She was spunky, happy and stubborn.  As she learned to talk the four words we most heard from her were, "I do it MYself"
So, when during her 3 year well-check she didn't want to "test" her eyes I was only mildly surprised.  Her doctor said she looked perfect ~ of picture of health (especially since she had ear tubes put in  when she was 11 months old).  She mentioned to keep an eye on Sassy's eyes and if I noticed anything weird ~ falling down a lot, squinting, or anything suspicious to call.

It was maybe 1 week later when I saw it.

I was putting some snapshots into a photo album.  It was so obvious.  How had I never noticed before?!  In many pictures my beautiful Sassy had 1 red eye and 1 normal eye. Weird.

And some of the time when it didn't turn out red, one eye seemed to be turning in.

We went back to the pediatrician.

We were referred to a pediatric opthamologist.

He is a very good doctor.

He is a very busy doctor.

We waited what felt like forever to see him.

And when we did, the results were shocking.

Sassy was 20/20 in her right eye ~ excellent!  And 20/1000 in her left eye!

That's right, 20/1000

She was diagnosed as having Amblyopia ~ which is basically loss of vision in one eye ~ for some reason, the brain prefers one eye over the other and does not turn the other eye on.  She also had significant crossing of
her left eye.

As a mother how could I not have known this!  I felt like I had failed my daughter.  I remember when her funny "trick" was to cross both of her eyes and then turn one back so she had one crossed eye and one straight eye.  Then she would make them both straight.  THIS WAS NO LONGER FUNNY!  Had I missed an important sign?

Well, we were determined to get her vision back.

She was prescribed glasses (which when on would mostly correct the turning of her left eye):

And had to patch her "good eye" 15 - 20 hours a week

while pretending to be pregnant.....  with a balloon.....

Just kidding!  Just had to see if you were still reading along :)

We had to go back and see the eye doctor every 3 months.

There was gradual improvement in her vision ~ with lots of tears and frustrations along the way.  I mean, really what 3 year old wants to wear a patch over the one eye they can see out of and basically walk around blind?

20/200

20/100

20/80

20/70 ~ stuck for what felt like FOR-E.V.E.R.

Still wearing glasses ~ trying to not scratch the heck out of them....

And still patching ~ and that got harder and harder.

She was busier.

And she was concerned about what her friends and other people might think.

There was lots of talk about "true" friends.

20/60

1st grade.

Eye alignment surgery.

We decided to have this surgery done to align Sassy's eyes.

She was "put under" and I cried.

Waited.

Nervous.

Never happier to see her eye doctor and hear him say she was being transported to recovery and that they would come and get us soon. He told us her surgery went perfectly.  Her eyes were finally straight and "man that girl has some beautiful eyelashes".

I just wanted my girl.

When we finally got to see her, her eyes were quite red and she was super nauseous.  I'll spare you the details and just tell you it was a very long 25 minute drive home.

The first thing she wanted to do when she got home was to look at her eyes.  Red or not the smile on her face when she saw how straight they were was priceless!

20/50

Woot Woot!!!

Straight eyes ~ WITHOUT GLASSES :)

 

Now, Sassy had to patch just enough to at least keep her vision where it was.

Appointments decreased from every 3 months to every 6.

20/40

No more patching, and we only have to see the doctor once a year.  Here she is and here she will stay.

Sassy, her long eyelashes, her beautiful blue/green/gray eyes that are perfect and straight.

Baby it's been long and at times frustrating for all of us, but you've been a champ.  You've come such a long way and I am so proud of you!