Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Really? They're just glasses.

If you come by and visit often, you've probably already noticed.

Smiley now has glasses.

I admit, I was upset at the news.   Me being shallow I suppose, but here is the story of how they came to be.

You see, Sassy (Smiley's older sister who is 10) has had her share of eye struggles.  It all started when she was 3 and we found out instead of being able to see 20/20, she could only see 20/1000.  I'm not going to go into details, but go here to read the story of her eyes.

Ever since then, I watch my children's eyes closely.  Just by looking them in person and in pictures.  I've never noticed anything with Action's eyes. But with Smiley, I didn't feel like they were straight and took her into the pediatric ophthalmologist when she was just shy of being 1 year old.  The doctor told me there was nothing to worry about at that point.  She had something called pseudo-strabismus, which is basically when one eye appears to turn in (typically in infants, but is usually outgrown) due to a wide nose or extra skin between the nose and eye.  We went home relieved.

But, I couldn't help but watch her eyes.  I felt like once in awhile I would notice one of her eyes turning in.  A friend of mine mentioned she thought she noticed the other one turning in.

Then, one day at lunch, Sassy yelled out for me concerned that Smiley's "eyes were everywhere".

I came to the table looked in shock at her eyes.  At one point both eyes were turned in, then one, then the other.  She was all over the place.

I calmly called the Doctor and amazingly got in to see him 1 1/2 weeks later.

We were there for 2 hours.  And the verdict.... surprising even her doctor... her vision was (is) typical for a two year old.  They expected it to be worse with the severity of her crossing.

The prescription:  Glasses. Putting her eyes at 20/20 (a typical 2 year old sees around 20/60).  Fingers crossed that glasses correct the turning otherwise surgery would be the next step.

And honestly, when I left the doctor's office that day.  I was a bag of mixed emotions.  Yay, her vision wasn't bad, there weren't any underlying causes for the crossing and all she had to do was wear glasses.

So what was my problem?  I have another girl in glasses.

That was my problem?  I have another girl in glasses.

I didn't want my daughter to wear glasses.  She's so cute without.

I didn't want my daughter to wear glasses.  It would be a struggle to get her to keep them on.

I didn't want my daughter to wear glasses.  Her sister, Sassy looks in the mirror now and says,  "Mom, I'd be so much prettier if I didn't have to wear glasses."  And I didn't/don't ever want Smiley to feel that way.

I just wanted my Smiley ~ flashing her beautiful lashes, sans glasses.

Really Wendy!

How petty.

There are so many other things that could have been wrong.  And all Smiley needs is glasses to hopefully correct the problem.

There are so many other people, suffering much greater trials, illnesses, medical problems and circumstances and I am upset because my daughter needs glasses!

How can I even allow myself to feel this way?

I guess that's me being real and imperfect.

You see, we all have feelings.  Some may be exaggerated, some my be spot on and some may be repressed.  But they are there.

And, I've come to terms with the glasses.  It didn't take me long.  I admit, I threw myself a little pity party. And then I heard these words "At least she's not blind."  And while that is exactly not what I wanted to hear, she gave me what I needed.  A good dose of reality!  You see there are so many worse things and glasses, well, we'll just call them a new accessory.

81.  A first Birthday
82.  Celebrating an accomplishment
83.  A clean house
84.  Brighter Colors
85.  Laughing with my In-Laws
86.  My family who knows how to rally together
87.  My beautiful 10 year old daughter
88.  My Amazing Husband
89.  Warm water, the smell of chlorine and smiles at the indoor pool
90.  My Mom


hill said...

wendy, thank you for linking up and for sharing your heart in such a real and beautiful way. xoxo.

the treat girl said...

aawwwh!! She is such a cutie patootie...and her new "accessory" doesn't make a dent on any cuteness :)

Jennifer Juniper said...

I almost said something when I first noticed them but since you didn't write about it I was afraid you were still accepting it.

If it helps, she is still a doll but I know exactly how you feel since I've read Sassy's story before.

My neighbor's daughter wanted glasses so badly she was pretending not to see so she had to buy her pretend ones at Claire's!