Friday, May 10, 2013

Mother's Day ~ Something to Think About

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May. It complements Father's Day, a similar celebration honoring fathers.
Via ~ Wikipedia

I'm certain most of you realize Mother's day is this Sunday, only a few days away.  
I also know that many of you who read my blog are mothers.  And for you I have a question......

You see, a friend of mine posted a link to this blog post on Facebook entitled "Ten Things I Really F'ing Want for Mother's Day"


Go ahead and read it, or skim it.  I'll wait.................


Numbers's 4, 5, 9 and 10 have my jaw on the floor.

Here are my comments, I'll go in order....

1.  Yep, I'm tired of wiping butts ~ Smiley is on the verge of independence on that one, but can not quite be trusted :)

2.  I like brunch ~ and as long as I'm with people I care about, I'm happy

3.  Sleeping in......anything past 4:40am is sleeping in for me

4.  I would love a card ~ one created by Hallmark and meticulously chosen by someone I love, or one made using any or all of the following: paint, markers, glitter, crayons, tape, glue and or macaroni and no sauce and wine necessary.

5.  Jewelry ~ Sure.  Beads and Macaroni noodles more than welcome.  And this year, it was a shrinky dink pendant with a beautiful drawing of me on it.  Thanks to Smiley ~ who HAD to give it to me TODAY because she was so excited and proud and that is what makes the gift so unbelievably special!

6.  I'm ok with this one, but absolutely use our kitchen.  And honestly, cereal and fruit or yogurt is just fine with me.  Actually, a cup of coffee that someone else brewed (and in our own coffee pot is just fine) would be perfect!

7.  Yes, it would be nice to use the bathroom just once without someone trying to come in. 

8.  Chocolate is good.  I don't need any, but if you must, I prefer milk chocolate.

9.  What?  If a present is given, it is the thought that counts.  Just because I may not love it, doesn't make your effort and thoughtfulness any less valued!

10.  ARE YOU KIDDING?  Why are you a mother?

I'm sure, at least I hope that this blog post was written in humor (and no offense to my friend!).  

I just don't see it.  

Maybe it's because as I look around me, those little ones whose tiny diapers I used to change are not so little anymore.  They are 12, 9 and 4.  They are becoming more and more independent  The middle of the night (newborn/baby) and morning snuggles that use to be an everyday occurrence are already becoming few and far between.  And there will come a day when I long to hear them pitter pattering around in the mornings, when the house is too quiet, and I crave a knock on the bathroom door, just because it means they are home and there is something so unbelievably important that a 2 minute trip to the bathroom must be interrupted.  And yes, presents are always nice ~ whether they are something I truly love, or something I love because someone important to me had me in mind when they picked it out.  Handmade cards and gifts ~ bring them on!  Not because I love to accessorize with macaroni, but because the look on the face and the excitement in the heart of the giver is an absolute gift in and of itself.  

There are so many women who LONG to be mothers........

And I am lucky, I have three beautiful children and the smiles on their faces are what fill my soul.  I am a mother.  And I would never want that to change.  So please don't EVER give me "Leave me the Fuck Alone" coupons that never expire as that lovely blogger so eloquently expressed.   Yes, there are occasions I need to take a breather and times I need to go out with "the girls".  There are moments I wish my children would stop bickering and whining, but I would take those noises over the sounds of an empty home any day.  

So this Mother's day, I will wear my Shrinky Dink necklace, carefully created and designed by my 4 year old with pride.  And I will savor the day.... with an early start I'm certain, bickering, butt wiping included, but with my family and that my friends is the only present I need.  (ok, they can clean their respective rooms without me asking.... that would be a most wonderful gift!)

And now the question(s)...
What did you think of this blog post, and what do you really want for Mother's day?


rachelle said...

This post is a little mean. Personally, I dealt with infertility for years before conceiving my miracle little girl through IVF. I cherish her and her toddler and newborn baby brothers more than I can possibly begin to express. I take immeasurable joy in being their mom and I wouldn’t change one thing about my blessed, blessed life. However. I am exhausted. Pretty much 100% of the time. I delight in my children, but it’s OK that I don’t delight in changing dirty diapers, constantly, all day long. It’s OK that my two-year-old’s demand for independence in every aspect of life can wear on me after a while, and that I get frustrated with my six-year-old for leaving her clothes all over the floor no matter how many times I ask her to pick them up. It’s OK that while I love, love, love to hold my newborn boy, he is heavy, and sometimes I just want to put him down and go to sleep. I am not a bad parent because of this, and I don’t appreciate it when people make me feel as though I am. I read the Mother’s Day blog post, and I chuckled. The writer uses the F-bomb a little more than I would, but I so understand her craving for a kids-free brunch with girlfriends every once in a while. Moments like that feed our souls and give us energy to handle the day-to-day of motherhood, which does, even you have to admit, include quite a bit of drudgery (piles and piles of laundry, anyone?). Congratulations on having survived the stage of young-child life, where you no longer have diapers to change and can comfortably send your kids outside for a few minutes by themselves. I am not there yet, and while I wouldn’t wish this time away for anything, it is hard. Please don’t make me or my mom friends feel bad for feeling this way. We should be building each other up, not tearing each other down. Your friend who posted this article to her Facebook page: give her a break. She just wanted to send a smile to other moms in honor of their special day. She loves her kids as much as you love yours—I’m sure of it.

BeCr8iv said...

I read her post. I read your post. I read the comment above mine. I guess my ending thought is words are powerful. I get where the other mom is coming from, we have all had days like that BUT how would she feel if her kids read that? Isn't part of our job as parents to show a glimpse of our heavenly fathers unconditional love (albeit inadequate)? I am not judging her as your commenter thinks, I am simply saying someone needs to give her a good, tight hug and then talk to her in love. Isn't that what good friends do? Not just agree with everything, but hold each other to better standards? Anyways, good food for thought on how we all can be better mothers and friends - and maybe be there for each other a bit more? Happy Mothers day my dear!

Jennifer Juniper said...

I have always liked to spend Mother's Day with my kids but I know so many moms who like it to have a break from their kids (I think you and I have talked about this). What is the point of being a mom if you can't take this special day to revel in it??

I'm sure she was joking, but imagine how sad her kids will be someday when they read this. Jokes are only funny if they don't hurt someone else, especially your kids. I've never found jokes at the expense of your kids funny.

This all being said, with my birthday and Mother's Day falling within 3 days this year The Big Guy and I got into a HUGE argument this weekend over not doing something special for me this week. I didn't want a gift just plunked down, I just wanted them to choose a nice card and do something to show they loved and appreciated me.

I was fine with explaining what I wanted until he said "well I didn't know you wanted to go out to dinner" and then I lost it. I said "I don't need anything, just a little break! I want you guys to do for me what I do for you 364 days of the year! And not because I ask, but because you love me and WANT to do something nice like make me dinner and do the dishes!"

Everyone's face went "ohhhhhh...." It's so hard to try to explain that you want/need something without sounding greedy or selfish. I felt bad and I never even got into the "f-ing jewelry" or any of that!

Jennifer Juniper said...

Oh, and a brunch with girlfriends is great...but not on mother's day IMO

Anonymous said...

I say we all just worry about ourselves and let other moms find humor in what they want, laugh how they want, and love how they want...not how we think they should. Support each other. Enough with the critiquing others. One thing I learned the second I became a mom was not to judge others unless they are hitting or abusing their kids.

Jennifer Juniper said...

Wow, I can't believe that for all these years I've used the blog platform to converse and debate and chat about one topic or another.

So, my bad for offering my own opinion about how Mother's Day should be spent in my own home. Thanks for popping in to set me straight that contrary opinion is unwelcome.

Have a great day :)